Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up?

Once, there was a convention in a BIG religious building (even bigger than the crystal cathedral) with all the thousands of sects of bible-antiy / christianity sending a representative.  The purpose of the convention was to agree on who Jesus of Nazareth was and why he came to earth.  All the representatives were very sure they knew who Jesus of Nazareth was and why he came to earth, and they were looking forward to having their belief affirmed by all the other representatives.  However, after over three straight months of arguing for twelve hours a day, six days a week, the thousands of bible believing representatives could only find total agreement on one thing.  And what was that, you ask?  All they could agree on was that Jesus of Nazareth (their christ or messiah) was a real person who was on the earth about two-thousand years ago.  That was it.  [And so, in fact, the thousands of bible-based sects had different christs’ or messiah’s…perhaps several hundred sects would agree on things they deem ‘essential’ about their ‘christ’, and so there are only several hundred christs instead of approximately 30,000 (one sources estimate of the number of bible-based sects in the world today).]

Now, because of all the heated arguing over the three months, most of the representatives were very angry and frustrated that the other representatives from the other sects could not see how THEIR jesus was the right one.  And so, in a last ditch effort to bring unity, they decided to have each of their smartest or most anointed representatives stand and speak one sentence describing who Jesus of Nazareth was and why he came to the earth.  At the end of that process, they would write down the majority thing that was said about jesus, and adopt that as their statement of unity.

Now, what the thousands of bible believers didn’t know was that God had sent his Son to earth, in person, to quietly attend this meeting.  He was one of the more modestly dressed people in the great meeting hall (much to the consternation of those he sat next to), and he sat in the back. And so, the day came for the bible believing “scholars, bishops, pastors, reverends, experts, evangelists, anointed ones, teachers, apostles”, ad nauseum, to stand up to represent their sect’s jesus.  The first one said, “we believe that jesus, who was God, can only be understood through the old testament and he came so that we would know what is right from wrong”.  Then the others stood up, one by one, saying…

  • “jesus was God and he came to make our lives emotionally and materially abundant”
  • “jesus was the greatest man ever to live an he came to save us from our sin”
  • “jesus was the only man ever born of a virgin, and he came to make the world a better place”
  • “jesus was the son of God and he came to forgive us our sins”
  • “jesus was the son of Man and he came to set the politically oppressed free”
  • “jesus was God and he came to give us the purest moral code”
  • “jesus was God and he came to set up his church”
  • “jesus was the lamb of God who came to pay for our sins through his vicarious sacrifice for us”
  • “jesus was God and he came to fulfill the bible for us”
  • “jesus was God who came to be the propitiatory sacrifice that God required in order to forgive us”
  • “jesus was God and he came to make a way for us to get to heaven by our participating in his church”
  • “jesus was the son of God who came to give us a new law to live by”
  • “jesus was God and he came to set people free from oppression of all forms”
  • “jesus was God and he came to give his message to his apostles who then explained to us why he came”
  • “jesus was God’s son and he came to set up his church where people would gather occasionally to hear messages, sing songs and do some important God rituals”
  • “jesus was God and he came to make us happy”
  • “jesus was God’s son and he came to bring us to heaven”
  • “jesus was God’s son and he came to give us the sacraments so that we could get to heaven”

The Real Jesus sat patiently listening.  As each religious representative stood up and said who they thought he was and why they thought he came, the Real Jesus would eagerly await the right answer.  After some time had passed with nothing but half-right or all wrong answers, he thought, 'surely someone would come up with the right answer?’  However, after many hours, he got progressively sadder and anger too started to well up in his heart.  Finally, the last one spoke, and he too got it wrong.  There was great silence over the assembly of men and women as they prayed for wisdom in selecting the right statement.  At that point, the Real Jesus stood up.  His countenance was like flint and his voice was as pure as could be.  He said, ‘how is it that you, who claim to represent me to the people of this earth, don’t even listen carefully to me, the one whom you call “Lord”?  You’ve had my Words for nearly two thousand years and yet you continue to listen to other voices instead of my own, and thus, you don’t know me.’

The biblians and christians and paulians (those who lead the thousands of religious sects based on the bible and on their christ or messiah) were shocked and offended at this man’s words.  Who was this poorly dressed man to speak the way he did?  And so they shouted at him to keep silent, to which he replied, “you search the scriptures and cherish your bible, and yet their purpose is to point you to me so that you will come to me to have Life, and yet you refuse to come to me”.

This made them more angry and they started out of their seats towards this man in order to rebuke him and his ignorant and arrogant words.  As their anger rose, and their feet took them towards him in order to do him harm, the Real Jesus said quietly, “your actions now prove you never knew me nor I you”.  This made those closest to him very angry and they threw him to the floor and kicked at him and spit on him as they dragged him towards the door of their cherished religious building.  There was yelling and gnashing of teeth as the religious leaders took the Real Jesus and threw him out of their building, condemning him as a deluded and ignorant fool who didn’t understand the bible, nor the truths of their various sects.

As they threw him out the door and yelled after him, ‘don’t set your pathetic foot inside our communion again’, the Real Jesus stayed on the ground in the dirt for some time.  He talked with his Father about what just happened, and then he got up, battered and bloody.  As he got up and cleaned himself up a bit, a little boy approached him and stood there looking at him.  Jesus looked down at the little boy and smiled a warm smile as he brushed himself off and stooped down before the little boy to listen to what he had to say.  The little boy said, ‘I was in the religious building cus my dad is the janitor and I was helping him, and I saw what they did to you…that wasn’t right.’  Jesus, smiling even deeper now, took the little boy’s hand and walked with him a way before sitting down at a park bench.

Jesus told the boy about his Father and the real Kingdom of God, and the little boy’s face lit up as the Words of the Life filled his little heart of faith.  They talked for some time as Jesus answered all the little boy’s questions, but then it came time for the Real Jesus to go back to be with his Father since the religious leaders were about to exit their building.  And so the Real Jesus stood up one more time, but this time in front of the one person he found that would receive his Words, and said to the boy, “remember what I have told you - read and receive MY words only, NOT the bible authors - trust me and my Father in all things in your life, and out of your faith in, and love for us, do what I say”.  With that, the Real Jesus just disappeared.

The little boy stood there for a while, and then turned to go back to find his dad.  As he walked away from the place where the Way told him the Truth about Life, a tear rolled down his cheek as he said in his heart, ‘please Jesus, come back and fix this broken world’.

"All who have ears to hear, let them hear!"

...and then come, join the Peaceful Revolution!

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